I still haven't found the love I've sought...only experiences hither and yon, moments come and gone over the hills and far away. Fleeting glimpses of those things to have and to hold.
"A lover of the light"
But that's about a love with a woman. I've been moving closer to that other love I've been implicitly prattling on about, so that's a good thing. Understandings are clearer there.
However, I finally found this picture while combing through four terabytes of data (I am a data squirrel). I've been searching for it for several months. (still hunting for several groups of other images.) It's just an image, but it's been important that I find it for some reason, perhaps it's the personal symbolism for two distinct reasons.
I saw it one day a few years ago on my way home as the sun set upon a window pane. At the time I had a Blackberry so I had to do the best with what was available.
I never saw it again after that day...a smudge of love. Some days feel like that...fleeting, amorphous and vague. It can be hard to discern, to sense and feel something larger and more clearly defined or understood on days or in periods like that. I'm fine on most days, most of the time. I usually keep things in perspective...even in the absence of things. I sometimes run into trouble when I'm feeling something, something that needs to be expressed and there is no avenue or audience for that expression and at the same time, the feeling(s) contradict what I know rationally, and intuitively for that matter. Aquarians are often (mis?)understood to be a bit aloof, a little removed from their emotional realm among other, more positive traits. I'd have to say this is actually fairly true of myself. However, I am nearly a Pisces, and have some of their characteristics as well: dreamy, fluid, passionate...sensitive. An internally directed, creative, level-headed, heartful, stubborn, irreverent sweetheart. A dreamy frakkin' enigma in other words.
I straddle a fence between two realms of being and understanding self, world...cosmos. I've known this for a long time, as I've known that if these modalities were better integrated, well, I'd be much further along towards where I want and need to be.
But that's part of a longer story.
Step at a time. Keep moving...with some intention.
I have a bag of seeds: looking for a garden.
The word of the day seems to be...fleeting.
Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as
your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your
love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say
I'm clean, I'm clean
[Chorus:]
But tell me now, where was my
fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh, tell me now, where was my
fault
In loving you with my whole heart
A white blank page and a
swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the
brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my
affections
[Chorus:]
So tell me now, where was my fault
In
loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In
loving you with my whole heart
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you
with my whole life
Oh, lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
"White Blank Page" from Sigh No More, Mumford and Sons © 2009 Gentleman of the Road Recording.
"A lover of the light"
But that's about a love with a woman. I've been moving closer to that other love I've been implicitly prattling on about, so that's a good thing. Understandings are clearer there.
However, I finally found this picture while combing through four terabytes of data (I am a data squirrel). I've been searching for it for several months. (still hunting for several groups of other images.) It's just an image, but it's been important that I find it for some reason, perhaps it's the personal symbolism for two distinct reasons.
I saw it one day a few years ago on my way home as the sun set upon a window pane. At the time I had a Blackberry so I had to do the best with what was available.
I never saw it again after that day...a smudge of love. Some days feel like that...fleeting, amorphous and vague. It can be hard to discern, to sense and feel something larger and more clearly defined or understood on days or in periods like that. I'm fine on most days, most of the time. I usually keep things in perspective...even in the absence of things. I sometimes run into trouble when I'm feeling something, something that needs to be expressed and there is no avenue or audience for that expression and at the same time, the feeling(s) contradict what I know rationally, and intuitively for that matter. Aquarians are often (mis?)understood to be a bit aloof, a little removed from their emotional realm among other, more positive traits. I'd have to say this is actually fairly true of myself. However, I am nearly a Pisces, and have some of their characteristics as well: dreamy, fluid, passionate...sensitive. An internally directed, creative, level-headed, heartful, stubborn, irreverent sweetheart. A dreamy frakkin' enigma in other words.
I straddle a fence between two realms of being and understanding self, world...cosmos. I've known this for a long time, as I've known that if these modalities were better integrated, well, I'd be much further along towards where I want and need to be.
But that's part of a longer story.
Step at a time. Keep moving...with some intention.
I have a bag of seeds: looking for a garden.
The word of the day seems to be...fleeting.
Can you lie next to her
And give her your heart, your heart
As well as
your body
And can you lie next to her
And confess your love, your
love
As well as your folly
And can you kneel before the king
And say
I'm clean, I'm clean
[Chorus:]
But tell me now, where was my
fault
In loving you with my whole heart
Oh, tell me now, where was my
fault
In loving you with my whole heart
A white blank page and a
swelling rage, rage
You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the
brink
You desired my attention but denied my affections, my
affections
[Chorus:]
So tell me now, where was my fault
In
loving you with my whole heart
Oh tell me now, where was my fault
In
loving you with my whole heart
Lead me to the truth and I will follow you
with my whole life
Oh, lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life
"White Blank Page" from Sigh No More, Mumford and Sons © 2009 Gentleman of the Road Recording.
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